I have to be honest with you, the mom guilt is real. When Scarlett was younger, it was my job and responsibility to teach her everything she needed to know. I had flashcards and tools for learning shapes, animals, numbers, letters, and colors. As she grew, we realized that she was speech delayed and spent a year working with a speech therapist. Of course when issues arise with children we blame ourselves and ask ourselves what could we have done differently? Even if the challenge is not our fault, a mom still struggles with it.
Scarlett is in school three days a week for three hours a day. When I have that free time, I try to take advantage of it and cook, clean, and take care of the house. Some days I may have errands to run and won't get as much done sans child as I'd like.
Once I pick Scarlett up and she comes home, I may have to vacuum, throw a load of laundry in, or even just make a phone call. Scarlett always asks me to play with her and sometimes I can't. I feel bad that I can't always be her built-in playmate, but I do have legitimate work to do. I explain to her that I have to finish what I'm doing and then I can play with her.
Sometimes she understands and others she doesn't. I try to tell her it's important that she play alone independently while I complete my tasks. She's used to me playing with her, and doesn't always want to be by herself. When she does agree, it makes life a lot easier. I know this is also due to being an only child too. If she had a sibling close in age, she wouldn't be looking for me to be her playmate so much at home.
Sometimes she understands and others she doesn't. I try to tell her it's important that she play alone independently while I complete my tasks. She's used to me playing with her, and doesn't always want to be by herself. When she does agree, it makes life a lot easier. I know this is also due to being an only child too. If she had a sibling close in age, she wouldn't be looking for me to be her playmate so much at home.
Some days I feel like it's hard to balance everything. I have to make sure my child's needs are met while also ensuring my work at home gets completed too. At night, I may lie awake and say did I spend too much time cleaning or organizing today when I could have spent more time with Scarlett? Is she on track with learning in comparison to her peers? Should I be teaching her even more than I already am?
These are just some of the questions that roll around in my head. I try to shut my brain off, but it's really hard. If you're a stay-at-home-mom, I can guarantee you've felt these same things. I also have guilt about not working and contributing financially like I'd like to. Everyone says being at home with a child is the most important thing for them, and I have to keep telling myself that.
These are just some of the questions that roll around in my head. I try to shut my brain off, but it's really hard. If you're a stay-at-home-mom, I can guarantee you've felt these same things. I also have guilt about not working and contributing financially like I'd like to. Everyone says being at home with a child is the most important thing for them, and I have to keep telling myself that.
The mom guilt never goes away completely but some days I may feel it more than others. I hope as Scarlett gets older my feelings of guilt lessen as she becomes more independent. I know I'm not alone with these thoughts and feelings and it's something I have to grapple with. For now, I will enjoy her as much as I can until she goes to kindergarten! By that point, I'll be going back to work too.
While being a stay-at-home-mom has its challenges, I feel very lucky and blessed I am able to do it everyday.
While being a stay-at-home-mom has its challenges, I feel very lucky and blessed I am able to do it everyday.
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