Hello, My New Name is Mommy

I started babysitting at age 12, and it was relatively easy.  The parents went out to dinner while I put a movie on for the kids and we sat around a big bowl of popcorn.  When I moved to New York City for college, I became what was known as a "nanny." A nanny is a posh term for what really means, "you're the replacement mom for four hours a day, three days a week."  When you're a nanny, you're responsible for helping with homework and shuttling the kids from one overpriced activity to the next.  Of course in-between all of this you have to make sure the children are fed and bathed before the parents return home from work.

Fast forward a few years later and my husband and I started talking about having children of our own.  The thought of having a child was very exciting to me, and of course we discussed the obligatory firsts like which names we liked for a boy or a girl.

I got pregnant in March 2014.  Your life changes instantly as soon as you look at those two pink lines.  No longer are you just a couple, but you'll soon be a family.  You have to stop living for just you at this point.  I immediately scheduled my first OB/GYN appointment and couldn't wait to see what they had to say.

As the months went by, I loved seeing all of the changes that came with each trimester.  My favorite part was seeing the baby on the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat.  Once we found out we were having a girl, I was over the moon with joy and excitement.  Immediately, I started buying clothes for her and planning how I would decorate her nursery.

Throughout my pregnancy, I read books and articles on child-rearing.  I told myself, "I won't be the mom that co-sleeps with her daughter.  My child will always sleep in her crib.  My child will do this and not that, etc." In your head you create a plan for how you'll raise your child, but it's impossible to have it be set in stone.

Once Scarlett was born in December 2014, everything changed.  My husband and I now became an official family, and we couldn't have been happier.  Eight pounds, four ounces of pure cuteness entered the world and I was in love! I had a C-Section and we stayed in the hospital for four days.  Four days of help is all you receive before you are discharged and on your own.  You can't call the help button anymore for the nurse at 3 AM when your child is screaming.  The nurse doesn't come home with you to answer your endless list of questions, and she isn't there to assure you when you feel like you're not doing a great job.  Once those 96 hours were up, it was time to go home.

As cute as Scarlett was, she needed to eat every two hours around the clock.  This was exhausting.  My mom stayed with us for a month to help out.  That first month was a blur of poopy diapers, 2 AM cries and screams, and endless bottles.  You do the best you can that first month.  Everything feels overwhelming and you aren't sure how you'll make it through.

The days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, and now Scarlett is 14 weeks old.  She is a smiley, thriving, happy baby who has a wonderful personality.  I am extraordinarily lucky as I have the opportunity to stay at home with her.  I'll be the first one to see her walk, talk, and smile.  That's truly priceless to me.  As hard as motherhood is, it's all worth it.  I wouldn't trade any of it, even when your child is smiling at you after her 4 AM feed and all you want to do is to go back to sleep.

My life is so different now.  I traded dinners and shopping for bottles and diapers.  No longer can I just pick up and go to a movie with a friend, or meet her for a quick cup of coffee.  Everything has to be planned and calculated against Scarlett's sleep and feed schedule.  That's okay though, because my new name is Mommy.